So, having spent the last few weeks dishing out the reports I am now on the receiving end, and took possession of our son's yesterday. Now, I know what you're thinking. He's in year 3. Surely his report will just say 'Bryn is eight years old and therefore knows everything. There is nothing more I can teach him'. You may laugh, but to listen to him sometimes you would think this was the case. I have spent most of my life labouring under the misapprehension that I was of at least average intelligence and am so grateful to my son for showing me how wrong I was.
Anyway, back to the report. I quickly skim read to see if I could find any obvious 'teacher code' alerting me to the fact that my son was doing poorly at school and was therefore destined to become a drug addict/petty criminal/estate agent but could see no such comments. Parts of it were quite difficult to understand and I had to ask Bryn what some sentences meant.
'He needs to use inverse relationships to verify the accuracy of an answer'
'He needs to independently use appropriate ways of presenting data ...using appropriate scales for each axis'. Whatever happened to 'Could do better'?
There were a couple of other phrases which caught my eye. In the R.E. comment it said 'This year he has learnt about submission in Islam'. Submission in Islam? How about teaching him about submission at home?! Perhaps we should convert. The other one said 'He is able to mix paint economically'. Well, that's good to know. If the whole Brain Surgeon thing doesn't work out then at least there'll be a job for him at Home Base.
Finally I had a last look through to make sure I hadn't missed anything vital. Nowhere could I see the phrase 'Bryn is a pleasure to teach'. Phew, what a relief. He is not the Head Teacher's son.
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