ASBO Mum

It has often been said that your best parenting is done before you actually have children and I for one hold my hands up to this accusation. Before Bryn was born I was determined that he was not going to have a dummy and that he was going to be well and truly breast-fed. Both of those assertions lasted approximately a week, though to be fair the breast-feeding thing was rather out of my control.
Next comes food. My child was going to be the one eating lots of fruit and veg, asking me for hummus and organic, unsweetened yoghurt in the supermarket and turning his nose up at white carbs and processed foods. He was going to be brought up firmly, with strict routines, no shouting and limited TV.
Forward a couple of years and he is a toddler. I am out in the street screaming like a banshee and stuffing him full of crisps and sweets in an attempt to calm him down because he is overtired on account of staying up to watch The Exorcist last night. It was following a similar scenario (by the way Social Services I lied about The Exorcist) that I gave myself the nickname 'Asbo Mum' and I have done a pretty good job of living up to it ever since!
No, on the whole Bryn is very little trouble and we get on really well. However, one day a few months ago I had clearly done something to upset him as he did not speak to me for ages. He broke his silence to inform me that he was looking for a new mummy on ebay. When I asked how much money he was able to bid and could she make chocolate brownies like mine he said "£1.76" and looked a bit crest-fallen. Needless to say he decided to stick with me, for all my faults, but at least I now know how much it would cost to replace me!