Alan Partridge

So, Alan Partridge has arrived in Naarch (a roite foine ci-ee) for the premier of his film. I for one am jolly pleased that he eventually decided to show it here first, as it gives me something else to write about. I don't actually have a huge amount to say about Alan Partridge, except that he is very funny, but I saw that he and Norwich were on the news and trending on Twitter and thought, "There's a bandwagon; I'll jump on it". It's a dog eat dog world this blogging lark. You've got to be ruthless.
What I can talk about at some length and with not inconsiderable authority however, is the cinema where the film is to be screened. I went there a couple of years ago with Bryn to watch Horrid Henry. All I can say is I hope they've given it a bit of a clean and a lick of paint recently. Now, I am not exactly house-proud or overly concerned about my surroundings being pristine, but I don't much like it when my feet stick to the floor or my seat gives off a cloud of dust when I sit on it. There were pieces of antique popcorn on the floor of the foyer and the cinema, and the toilets were lavishly graffitied with all manner of interesting information about the sexual predilections of Sprowston High's year 10 girls. At least the pic 'n' mix was cheap.
Anyway, I notice that they have very inconsiderately named the new Prince of Cambridge whilst I've been writing this, so I suppose Alan Partridge is now whatever the modern-day equivalent is of 'tomorrow's chip wrappers'.