Blue Peter

I have recently been forced by my young son to watch the programme currently on CBBC where they are searching for a new Blue Peter presenter. They are now down to the final three, with the contestants having had to go through various tests such as showing viewers how to make a nuclear bunker out of a washing-up liquid bottle, a dead rat and a toothpaste tube. There has been sticky- backed plastic a-plenty and hearty cries of "Here's one we made earlier".
I was brought up on Blue Peter in the olden days when it took to the air on Mondays and Thursdays. It was pretty much the only programme I was allowed to watch with TV generally frowned upon and Grange Hill considered far too rough. No, Blue Peter was considered perfect viewing material. Nothing any ruder than an elephant crapping on the studio floor, nothing more risqué than following Tina's pregnancy (I'm still sure it was Percy Thrower's baby). If only we'd been aware of what was going on behind the scenes at Broadcasting House. It all began to fall apart with the arrival of Sarah. Even my innocent nine-year-old self could tell just by looking at her that she'd had more men than I'd had disgusting school dinners. Then, Janet got pregnant but they didn't mention that as she wasn't married. At some point one of them was replaced by a bloke called Michael. He excitedly told viewers how he'd appeared in an 80s music video. Unfortunately he omitted to inform us that he'd also appeared in a very different type of video altogether. He didn't get a big farewell programme, he just disappeared from our screens never to be heard of again poor man. Later on came the whole scandal about the naming of the Blue Peter cat and finally I'm sure one of them had to leave because of cocaine use.
Looking back, Dad, it would have been a lot safer to let us watch Grange Hill. At least that was acting and not real lives being screwed up before our very eyes. I just hope that the three Blue Peter presenter wannabes are given an on the spot drugs/pregnancy test at some point in the selection process or they could be in for very short careers.