Sunday 7 July 2013

Sunday Drivers...

... or as we like to refer to them here in Norfolk, 'Drivers'. Yes, why confine such a splendid pastime to just one day when you can easily annoy the hell out of everyone on the roads seven days a week? Coming back from the pensioner mecca of Sheringham today I was faced with a whole bunch of such drivers. A bunch? I'm sure someone can come up with a more apt collective noun than that. A dirge? An annoyance? A werthers?
Anyway, you can easily spot these offenders, sometimes from quite a distance. The first heart sink you get is when you spot the tow-bar. This normally indicates heavy caravan usage - not good. Then comes the parcel shelf. If it is liberally furnished with a tartan rug, tissues, cushions or straw boaters then you are in for a slow ride home. I'd say a good 3 miles an hour below the speed limit for each offending article.
The final nail in the coffin comes in the form of car stickers. Again, a mile or two slower for each of the following;  Christian fish sticker, National Trust, Lifeboats, anything to do with animals.
The ironic thing in all this is that the very cars being driven at 33 mph along a major road often sport jaunty and frankly misleading names such as 'colt', 'jazz' or 'sprint'. I would like to start a campaign for the car name to be more accurate. How about a 'Peugeot Pensioner' , a 'Ford You can't be too careful' or a 'Rover...', well just a Rover really.

No comments:

Post a Comment