Nothing has stirred up as much strength of feeling so far on Normal for Norfolk as my previous post on Great Yarmouth (http://normalfornnorfolk.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/a-tour-round-norfolk-great-yarmouth.html). I must confess to having written the piece based on experiences from my childhood and hearsay. Much of this has come from pupils at the school where I teach, many of whom come from Yarmouth themselves and it was a former pupil who first introduced me to the nick name 'Not so Great Yarmouth'.
Apparently the rather nightmarish seaside resort of my childhood (we used to get dragged there on Sunday School outings) has cleaned up its act a lot. So, in order to do justice to the 'New and Improved' Great Yarmouth, I felt I should produce a 'New and Improved' review.
Some of my ramblings would remain the same, even in the light of glowing reports from friends and family. I still maintain, for example, that 'premier' is a bad choice of word to use in any attempt at positive marketing and that we cannot possibly claim to have dry and sunny weather all year round.
However, I have been urged to visit Yarmouth to sample the delights of greyhound racing (literally rather than metaphorically going to the dogs for a change; at least it wasn't going to pot), riding on the snails (much like getting a Sanders bus to work I should imagine) and visiting the Nelson museum. Apart from Stephen Fry and 'Alan Partridge' I suppose Nelson is the only famous Norfolk person we can boast.
So, maybe Norfolk's Premier Beach Resort is worth a sneaky visit after all. By the way, no one has come forward in support of the Merrivale Model Village so I assume that is just as I described it in my last post?
Great Yarmouth (or as it is more accurately known 'Not So Great Yarmouth') is situated on the east coast of Norfolk and is allegedly a popular holiday destination, though with whom I dread to think.
In the interests of accuracy, and not having visited Yarmouth myself since I was a child, I felt I should do some research before blogging, and so checked on the tourist board website. Never again shall I believe a word I read on the web. It is billed as 'Norfolk's Premier Beach Resort'. Now, I don't know what it is about the word 'premier', but for me it manages to convey the complete polar opposite of what it is meant to. Anything with 'premier' in its name conjures up images of mediocrity and tackiness and if you are fooled by it then you deserve everything you get ... or don't get.
Next it says (and I quote) "Norfolk is known for dry and sunny weather throughout the year."?? OK, so Norfolk may get slightly more sun than some places, let's say Siberia, and is drier than parts of Sri Lanka during monsoon season, but I don't think we can claim to have dry and sunny weather all year.
I realise I'm not selling it so far (Norfolk Tourist Board won't be advertising on my site) but what of Great Yarmouth's attractions? Well, there is the Merrivale Model Village bearing the slogan 'The Same Sh*t But Smaller'. You can go to the Marina Leisure centre and spend a few blissful hours surrounded by hoards of screaming children. Best of all though is Britannia Pier, which I think was called the 'Pleasure Beach' in my day and consisted of an over-priced helter-skelter and a death-trap of a roller-coaster, all topped off nicely with candy floss and salmonella hot dogs. Now, far be it for me to put you off, but when Dante wrote his 'Inferno' and described the 9 levels of hell, he clearly hadn't been to this particular Norfolk attraction which would surely be level 10. Interestingly, level 6 is called 'The city of Dis'. Now we have the town of 'Diss' in South Norfolk so maybe Dante had visited these parts after all...?
There appears to be a Twitter trend at present to tweet a list of the things you love.
This is a lot more positive and healthier than some of the things trending on twitter at present, such as Simon Cowell or Jay Z, so I thought I would add to it by doing my very own Norfolk version - only 10 for now ...
1) My traaactor
2) My friend's traaactor
3) My parents
4) My in-laws (whoops already said that in no.3)
5) Driving at 42 mph when the speed limit is 60
6) Driving at 42 mph when the speed limit is 30
7) Watching Naarch City
8) Gooun up Yaarmuth
9) Crooma Crabs
10) Living in such a bootiful part of the country.
