Now, I know that I am not alone in adult circles in being a bit partial to the odd packet of Haribo and I have found that the more open I have been, the more people I have found over the age of 25 who share my gelatine addiction. I'm sure there are support groups out there somewhere for the real hard-core users, and a twelve-step plan to wean you off the gummy bears.
Normally when I am at home I am ok, as we tend not to have Haribo in the house, but my real downfall is when I'm at school. I keep a big stash of this type of sweet in my desk as prizes/bribes/danger money for the kids I teach. I'm sure this goes against all guidelines on good practice, what with our being a healthy eating school and all that, but I find that fresh fruit doesn't keep so well and is nowhere near as effective. "Come on Tyler, just finish this piece of work and you can have some grapes".
Normally I can resist. The Haribo are in a tin in a locked drawer, otherwise they do tend to 'disappear', so I have to make an effort to get to them - but after a particularly challenging day I do sometimes find myself reaching into the pupils' sweet tin for a little something. The trouble is once you've had some it is hard to stop. I guess the combination of sugar, e numbers and chewiness is meant to be addictive otherwise they wouldn't sell so many.
I have sometimes toyed with the idea of buying sweets which I don't like, such as toffees or mints, but the trouble is the kids don't like them either. One 13 year old girl asked "Miss. Why don't you buy us chocolate instead?". I found myself in one of those painful situations where you can hear yourself saying something, know it's stupid, but it's too late to stop yourself. "They wouldn't last too well in a stuffy classroom, and there's nothing worse than a sticky mess in your drawers", was what I said. I hate it when that happens. She might have a point though? I'm sure melted, congealed and re-set chocolate would be much easier for me to say no to.
I have been following the 5:2 eating plan for a while now though nowadays it is more 6:1. For those of you not familiar with this strange mathematical diet the idea is that you 'fast' on 2 days a week and 'feast' on the other 5. Now, by 'feast' they mean 'eat normally' which is where confusion and self delusion can creep in. I can't speak for fellow 5:2ers, but I find that my willpower is just fine on fast days, in fact I almost enjoy them. Must be all that Baptist self-denial I used to indulge in rearing its ugly head. No, it is the feast days where I have to be careful, as I try to convince myself that 'eating normally' involves a Full English (for readers abroad that is a cooked breakfast and not some excruciating waxing technique), 6 Big Macs washed down with full fat coke, plenty of chocolately snacks and an evening meal of takeaway and a bottle of wine. I am exaggerating a bit but nevertheless the temptation is to over-indulge on feast days, thereby undoing all your good work.
Last week, when Prince George was born I was on a feast day and had been into town to buy gifts for my son's teachers as an end-of-year thank-you. Here are extracts from the cards we sent to school.
Dear Mr Brooklyn,
Thank-you very much for all your hard work this year. Bryn has really enjoyed being in your class. You are lucky that I decided to buy you some red wine as a gift. I don't much like this particular alcoholic beverage and therefore the bottle is still intact.
Best wishes etc ...
Dear Mrs Pottersby,
You really are the best classroom assistant ever and Bryn loves it when you work with them. I have to apologise about the poor gift offering this year. You were meant to have a bottle of Prosecco but it looked so tempting yesterday evening that I just had to open it - needed to wet the baby's head and all that. Also, sorry about the champagne truffles. I think you'll find there are only a couple missing.
Enjoy the holidays etc ...
It's true. I can resist everything except temptation!
